Many years ago, my immediate younger brother visited a family friend whose house was invaded by bedbugs. He stayed with them for some Weeks.
Few Weeks after his return, we had bed bugs attack on our home furniture. Laughsssss. Their population was so massive to the extent that we had to dispose all our home furniture.
We overcame the attack.
When my younger sister was preparing for marriage; I jokingly told her to check her load carefully to avoid transporting bedbugs to her husband’s house. Laughing She repeated same joke on me when I was getting married and my mum bursted into laughter.
On my part, While packing my things, I did a thorough search to avoid having to battle with bedbug like my mom did.
Bedbugs are the issues of life, marital problems ones paternal and maternal faced or struggled with, idealogies and philosophy about Marriage you pick from the Marriage of your parents. You must be determined not to repeat history. Kill the bugs.
Bedbugs sucks the blood which is the life, joy peace and fulfilment out of ones marriage.
Just like a new bride has to dispose some old stuffs as she moves to her husband’s house, there are some pattern of reasoning which are like bedbugs we might need to drop.
It is not advisable to carry your mummy or daddy’s marital experience issues into your marriage and most importantly how you adopt your lessons from them matters.
The way your parents do their things, mustn’t be imported into your marriage especially if its not healthy or embraced by your spouse. The lessons you picked from their bad experiences must be scan through God’s standard and principles for marriage.
The First model marriage a child needs is his parent”s marriage.
Let me share this experience with you.
My mom had a joint account with my dad and based on my mum’s experience after my dad’s death, I had resolved never to have a joint account with my husband.
Eat in the same plate, live in the same house, sleep on the same bed, wear the same cloth, do everything together but never a joint account.
What is wrong with my decision?
My mom’s experience taught me a bad lesson. Going into marriage with that resolution negates Oneness in marriage. Much more than having a joint account, such decision has already created an unhealthy boundary for my marriage before it began.
My lesson is that You don’t make a life-long decision based on the general experiences of people around you. I settled this during our courtship and I must say that life wouldn’t have been easy if I had insisted on my way.
Mr and Mrs Jones are not your standard, but God’s standard and principles. Be careful of what you import into your marriage.
The best way to do your marriage is to see what works for you and do it God’s way.
Another one like it, my mom, a Christian woman married my dad a Muslim. I know their marriage was not as God intended.
I killed the bedbug to avoid battling with same.
You will never trust your husband because your dad had extramarital affair. Kill the bug.
You will never be open to your wife became you learnt she can be controlling. kill the bug.
Scan your philosophy about marriage, sex, parenting, etc.
Not only from your parents, even from friends and the society.
Think about how this message resonates with you and acts right.
“And do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you ” Romans 12:1-2 AMP